A football fan?

And how do we choose our teams?

I have always faced the inevitable argument when I am in a football discussion with a man - “You are a woman”. And this fact is true. I have boobs, I have a vagina. I have long hair, I wear make-up. I like girly things like fashion and romantic comedies. In fact, I consider myself to be a reasonably attractive woman, a successful woman, an intelligent woman. And a woman that has dedicated her life to football.


So how does that make me less of a football expert than you?

Oh, I get it. Because football knowledge is apparently not in the head of the person, but in the head of the penis. This is why men understand football better than us! It’s the most logical explanation!!! It all makes sense now!!! Oh, wait… Do you see where I’m going with this? Unless you want to argue with biology. Because I would happily watch you try to convince the textbook that your brain is in your manhood. Just saying.

Why am I even bringing this despicable question up?

Because I just had a very mature argument with a 15-year-old boy who was trying to convince me how I don’t understand football and that I haven’t achieved anything in life. Spot the sarcasm in the sentence? Just to clarify - he was a supporter of Manchester City who hates James Milner, Gareth Barry, and Joleon Lescott and also a fan of Germany and Spain… Do you understand me now? Exactly. Real fan.


So he made me think.

What is an actual fan of a football team, then?

Let’s look at the official definition of a "fan", shall we? “A person who is enthusiastically devoted to something, such as a band, a sports team, or entertainer.” A sports team. A SPORTS TEAM. A. SPORTS. TEAM. “A” indicating a singular form. One team. One. Key word - “One!” Uno. Ein.

What is my definition of a real football fan?

This is a person who has one club and one team only. For me, these are Manchester City Football Club and England National Football Team. See what I did there? Club and team - two terms make the difference easier to spot. I do follow other clubs, but they are in different leagues, and I don’t call myself their fan!

And a FAN means to be there for your team in their best moments and in their worst. To support them when they play brilliant football and when they can’t even connect a cross. To love them no matter if a player wins Man of the Match or has the worst game performance in his life. To be happy for them when they win every single trophy and when they go 44 years without one.*

And none of these things relates to gender, as far as I can see.

So, there you go, two birds with one shot, two problems I wanted to address in one article.

*This goes to you, Manchester City. I love you! This goes to you, Gareth Barry. I love you! This goes to you, Joleon Lescott. I love you! This goes to you, Joe Hart. I love you!

 We don’t choose our club! Our club chooses us!