Someone Like You...

Feeling bored, I decided to record myself singing one of my favorite songs. My camera does not work, so it's just a black screen and my voice. I hope you like it, and if you do, don't forget to like it on YouTube as well. ^.^

No Love Lost...

... No love found!

This time last year... I don't even remember what it was like... Things changed so much...

Some people believe that next year will be the last. That the world will end in December 2012. I am not one of them. I am also not one of the others that refuse to accept even a word about it.

Truth is, I don't care. If it is true, there is nothing I can do about it, except live the last few months at my best. If it's not true, then nothing will change, so I just need to keep on living.

As the last moments of 2011 pass more quickly then they should be, I realized that so many things happened this year. So many right and wrong choices, so many life-changing decisions, so many new people in my life, so many lost friends... Some of the most important moments...

• I turned eighteen in May and supposedly became an adult.
• I was never able to fully accept my mother's boyfriend.
• I went to my very first football game (Bulgaria - England).
• I saw my celebrity crush in real life (He is so gorgeous).
• I saw many of my football idols in real life (England).
• I spent two amazing weeks in England (London, Manchester).
• I got accepted into my dream university (Two of them).
• I improved my grades in school (Not by far, but still).
• I got over the hardest crush I ever had (After three years).
• I broke my relationship with my father (Nothing surprising).
• I never got over the fact that my father has another child.
• I lost one of my life-long friends, because of his girlfriend.
• I lost another friend, because he fell in love with me.
• I fucked up the chance to be with one great guy (Stupid me).
• I gave up from one dream and followed another (Fingers crossed).

All of this... I didn't realize so many things happened, until now. And I want 2012. Now!

Consequences:
I will be moving on the other side of this continent in about six months.
I will be studying something I never imagined myself doing before.
I will be meeting new people, have new friends, maybe I'll even fall in love.
I will be haunted with the thought: "Did I make the right choice?"

Result:
I will be building my life from scratch.

This is why I am spending this moment of remembrance for 2011, the key year in my life.

Welcome, New Year! Welcome, 2012! Welcome, new life! Welcome to the world, Lilly!

I'll be back one day...

Christmas Spirit...

This year, Christmas became something very important to me over the last couple of days.

Maybe I was hoping that for once in my life I would spend it normally with my family - silly me to think something like that might be remotely possible!

Maybe I was excited because of the amazing present that I got from Santa (a.k.a. Manchester City) - I have never felt as happy as when I opened my original Joe-Hart jersey!

Maybe I was grateful that I finally got some time off school, which has become an utter pain in the... yeah - then I remembered the piles of pointless homework to be done!

So what the hell was it? And then it hit me like a truck on a highway!

This was going to be my last Christmas in Bulgaria... With my family, with my friends... I realized that this time next year I will live in another country, with other people, and who knows... Of course, I will definitely come back for the holidays, but it's still not the same.

I won't be there when my mother decorates the Christmas tree one month in advance. I won't be there to buy the Christmas cookies and rejoyce every time I tell my family not to touch them before Christmas Eve, even though I have already eaten about a dozen. I won't be there to harrass my best friends for ideas for presents. I won't be there when the entire Sofia will be lit up in millions of Christmas lights. I won't be there... In my beautiful, crazy, little country...

And it scared me... It literally terrified me! That I won't be able to spend much time with my mother, that my father will completely ignore the fact that he has a daughter, that my friends will forget me, that I won't be able to have another Christmas with my grandmother...

This is why I had the best Christmas ever. True, my mother's boyfriend once again annoyed the shit out of me, I had to spend another holiday without my father, who was too busy with his new family to even remember to call me (not that I expected anything else).

But I was with my mother, with her amazing friends, with my grandmother. We had fun, and we ate delicious food, and listened to good music, and had some amazing presents, and I spent the night before with the three girls I love the most in this world, and Sofia was beautiful under the snow, and everything was perfect. Christmas was perfect.

So, I decided to share my "epiphany" with you. Do not forget to enjoy yourselves, take in every little detail, do not be scared to sound ridiculous, do not pay attention to the little things that try to kill your nerves, just have fun and love everyone that deserves it, because nothing in this life is permanent. Days come and go, people come and go, lives come and go... And we need to learn to get the best of them, while they are still here...

Merry Christmas, everyone, and a very happy New Year!

Save Me...

Isn't it ironic that there is one person in the whole wide world who is too busy saving others, when the one who needs him the most as a saviour is you... Save me...