A Letter To Love...

Dear Love,

Wow... I wrote the first line and completely froze. This is weird. I have so much to ask you, so much to tell you... Yet, I cannot write. I don't know how to start. Let's see... I haven't seen you in a while. You must have some other things to do, other important matters to attend to. But, since it's been so long, I decided to write. Maybe you'll answer me. So... What can I tell you...

I am well, I guess. Nothing really changed for me, but, you know, if you came by, maybe we could go out, or just talk... Or just sit there and stare at the stars, together, like we used to. We could just sit there, look at the full moon, and pretend it could grant us one wish. We would talk to it for hours, because it was the only one who could understand us. And we knew that it would grant us that insane wish, sooner or later.

I remember when we sat there, on my bed, covered in a thick blanket, drinking warm strawberry tea, while the snow was covering everything outside. The entire room smelled like strawberries. And cookies, and chocolate, and apples. Maybe there was some cinnamon, too, I don't remember. We were alone, and you were the only one who saw my true face. My mask was lying on the floor, and you were looking straight into my eyes. My true eyes...

I think we were watching something, but it was a long time ago. It was a movie. A beautiful romance. I was crying, but you were just laughing. Maybe it was a comedy, I don't remember. It was December, when you left. How could I forget? You told me you were coming back soon, but you didn't. I saw you a few times, or at least I thought so, but when I walked up to you, it turned out it was someone else. I miss you. I find you in everything now. I hope you come back soon.

It's not like I have no idea where you are. I see your work all over the world now. You're famous. There are movies about you, songs and books, too. Maybe that's what makes it so hard to forget you. I see at least one of your masterpieces every day. But you never gave me one of them, maybe you're still working on mine, I don't know... Do you even remember me?

I had a dream about you last night. I have had a lot of dreams about you recently. Now, all I want to do is sleep. It seems I can only feel when I am not awake. It is so clear when it's not real. The slight tingling in the stomach. The tight grip of the heart. The unbearable difficulty to breathe. The neverending smile on my face. The need to get over it. The desire to keep it forever. Yet, the moment I open my eyes, the sensation is gone, the magic is gone, you're gone...

I miss you. Shortly after you left, I met your friend, Crush. She is nice, we went out a couple of times, but she is not you. She is just too... Shallow. Always thinks about the next person she has to meet. I can't get her to sit still even for an hour. Every day, she introduced me to different people, I even lost their count. I wish you would come back. You're just so... Permanent. Was permanent. I don't know you anymore.

Huh, that feels weird. Writing these words, I realized... You have changed. You are not what you used to be. I am not what I used to be. I don't see the world as I used to, and you can't give me what I used to want. Do you even know what I want now? You used to know me so well, yet... you left me. Everything is just a "used to be". You come, give, and then take it all away.

You know what... Don't come back. You cannot make me happy. You're like a season. Spring. You come, make people feel satisfied and special, then you leave and everything slowly fades away, dies out and falls to the ground only to be crushed by people's feet. Or isn't that just your point? You give. You take. I don't know. It's been so long... I don't remember... I need to know. I need you to come back. I don't know... I don't remember...

I want to scream, yet I have no voice. You will not hear me. I'm writing, but no one will read. I'm crying, but no one will come. They know, they see, but they stay away. They don't know me. I am alone, and you are everywhere around me. Why don't you come back to me? I don't know what to say. I never knew. I never will. You took it. You took it all away. Or did I give it up... I don't remember...

I miss you...

Yours truly,
Heart.

FL - Steven Gerrard...

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the One, the Only... Steven Gerrard, a.k.a. Stevie G., a.k.a. Captain Fantastic, a.k.a. the best friggin' player in the world! And these are not even my words. They are Zinedine Zidane's. And I completely agree. For me, this is the greatest midfielder in England and out of it. Capello, don't even think about going against Spain on November 11th without Gerrard. He's not only the brain and the driving force, he is also the soul for every team he plays for.

Before even starting to talk about skills, which he has in abundance, I have to say that this player has the most amazing behavior and attitude anyone can have. He clearly shows that he is in love with the game, and completely dedicated to his one and only team, Liverpool.

This is the man that will sit among the crowd, while his team is playing and he is injured. This is the man that will kiss his club's motto before every game. This is the man that will shake hands and congratulate every single member of the team he's playing against, no matter if he wins or loses. This is the man that will always be there for every team mate. He stands for what I think of as the soul of the game and the team.

But words are just segments. The truth lies in the facts. First of all, I have to point out that his very first international goal was against Germany (Take that, Bastian!), during the World cup 2002 Qualifications. He opened the crucial result for Liverpool during the Champions League Final in 2005 against A.C. Milan. You can say that the free-kick goal is now his notorious trade mark. He's taken part in Euro 2000 and Euro 2004, as well as World Cup 2006 and World Cup 2010, the latter as a captain. He is also the captain of Liverpool, bearing the nickname of captain Fantastic! (I wasn't joking in the first sentence).

All that said, it would be pointless to list all the awards and nominations he has ever received. I will only say one last congratulations to him. This Saturday, Liverpool played against Manchester United. The very first goal, that formed the draw between the two teams was Gerrard's. Not only that, it was his first 2011/12 season league goal after more than six months off the field due to an injury. Welcome back, Gerrard, and let's hope we see more of that at Anfield and on international grounds.

By the way, a quick off-topic. I just saw that he is the exact same height as Bastian Schweinsteiger, a football player that I consider to be the next Gerrard. And the weirdness continues. Gerrard is number 8 in Liverpool, and Schweini is number 7 in Germany National Team. Coincidence much?

Steven Gerrard's soundtrack song (the music representing the power of his skill):

And I just have to say this (*innocent looking face*). But seriously, if you think that I like footballers, because I think they're hot, you're wrong. I think they're hot, if they play good!:

And since he deserves far more than one clip, I present to you, the Football God:

And the purest Gerrard skill:

Gerrard forever!!! The true English legend.

FL - Schweinsteiger...

Bastian. Schweinsteiger. Schweinsteiger, Bastian. Bastian Schweinsteiger. No matter how many times I write this name, I get the mixed desire to kiss my screen and then throw it out the tenth floor of my building. Yes, this is the one player that I unconditionally, indeniably, indefinitely want to hate-f**k.

Let me tell you, this guy has definitely caught my attention. Usually, the situation goes as follows. I am watching some football game, either Bayern Munchen or the German National Team. Suddenly, I see this player that's running with the ball, and the only thing I can do is sit and watch and admire the way he dribbles and shoots and scores... And the moment the ball hits the net, I remember that this is MY team's goal, and the words: "Schweinsteiger, you flawless son of a...", escape my mouth.

Seriously, he is good. He is so damn good. I watch Germany only because of him (and my mother's crazy, obsessed boyfriend, but that's not the point). For some unknown reason, he has been on my mind this entire week, so he snatches the well-deserved first post from my new series. You may think: "But he's just a player, not a legend." Well, let me tell you something. This is my friggin' blog, so I decide who is the legend here? Got that? OK!

Yesterday, I was on the verge of killing myself, when I realized that Bastian and me had a story. Oh, yeah, a long juicy story, which made me question my sanity for the last 24 hours. Those few of you who know me, might remember that I am a die-hard England National Team fan. And when Germany' lousy, cheating ass got England kicked out the World Cup 2010, I swore never to show any affection towards a German player, no matter if he is a damn football GOD!

So, you can imagine my utter surprise (and following desperation) when I found a small entry in a diary of mine that I wrote the summer of 2006. "Dear Diary," it said, "I just watched the World Cup game between Germany and Portugal. Germany won, but a few days ago, they lost from Italy. I was so sad. Germany is the best team all time. They even have this player, who is just amazing, but I don't know his name. When I find out, I'll tell you. Until then, I'm starting to watch football forever."

I swear none of the contents have been altered in any way, even the poor grammar. My mind was crushed. Not only I supported Germany, but it was also the reason why I started watching football! Seriously? Already feeling as a traitor, I decided to hunt down the son of a bitch that was responcible for this. And after hours of research on the team, I found him...

Bastian. Schweinsteiger. Number 7. Well, God DAMN! Why? Why? WHY? The guy who made my life a living hell in World Cup 2010. Seriously why is life so unfair. I never knew why 7 was my favorite number, but one thing I know is that I liked it because of the amazing anonymous football player from 2006. How the fuck am I supposed to know that it was Bastian friggin' Schweinsteiger!!! Ok, after my life is officially over...

I have to say that he really is a teriffic player. And he is very good-looking too. If my religion allowed it, he would be one of my favorite players in the world. But due to sacred restrictions, I can only dedicate to him the first post of this epic football saga. So, Schweini, das ist für dich, meine geheime Liebe! Ich werde dich vergessen... Ich hoffe. Ah, Scheisse!!!

Bastian Schweinsteiger's Soundtrack (speaks for itself):

After careful consideration, I want to add a second song for his soundtrack (there is no hidden message, trust me... or is there?):

And now, let's admire some pure soccer skills (unfortunately for Man City):

P.S. Please, God of Football, please, forgive me!

Football Legends...

This is just a quick post to introduce my brand new series of present football legends. I feel too inspired around all the games from the English Premier Leagie, Carling Cup, Champions League and Euro 2012 Qualifications. Since football is in my blood, I decided to start a small blog series about all the football players I admire. I will not be sorting them by teams, achievements, or age, just the order, in which they occur to me.

If any other die-hard football fans are reading this, comment below or write me an e-mail which are your favorites and maybe they will get their own spot in my brand new collection of football awesomeness.

So, as a starter, ladies and gentlemen(maybe the second is more appropriate), I present to you the best FIFA World Cup Song ever written: Germany 2006 - Celebrate the Day. The first world cup I ever watched, and it pains me to admit that I was in love with the... German... team. I cannot believe I'm saying this, but... truth hurts. No, let's face it, they are one of the best teams out there. But, only one team has my heart now - ENGLAND! So, let's get in the mood:

English Much...

For a hundredth time I have watch the England National Football Team play a tough game, and for a hundredth time I am completely repulsed by the support these players are getting. Some truths must be said. It was definately not one of England's best games, nor one of Joe Hart's or Wayne Rooney's best performances, but everyone happens to have a shitty day.

Now to get back to the real topic of this post. What does it mean to be a fan of something? To be a supporter? For me, it means complete devotion to your fandom. I am happy when my team wins, I am disappointed when my team finishes with a draw, I am angry when my team loses. But MY team always remains MY team. Learn it, live it, love it. That's it.

Unfortunately for me, my favorite team is one that I am technically not allowed to support. I am from Bulgaria, I am supposed to love my National Team, but I just cannot. I love the English Team. I know the players and what they are capable of, I have seen some beautiful wins, some of them against "my" Bulgarian Team, yet I still support them. But today, I realized why the English Team will never win any competition.

Actually, scratch that. I'm no longer talking about football. I'm talking about fandom, in it's whole substance. Fandom and supporters. Shitty fandom and supporters. Or should I say fandom and shitty supporters. No matter what it is - football, volleyball, basketball, baseball, whateverball...

Let me tell you a quick and pointless story. I'm sitting there, watching my game, England has a tough game and it ends with a draw. I am happy, because I know that it doesn't matter. England has qualified for the Euro 2012, with no matches lost at all and a superb goal difference of +12 scores. Check out the tables, they are the best in the group.

So I am happy, only very slightly disappointed by the game of the players, but it really didn't matter at that point. I turn off the TV, go to my room and for some unknown to me reason decide to write a comment on England National's Facebook page, something I almost never do, because I don't really use Facebook that much.

I open the page and what I saw threw me in rage. English people, so-called "supporters" are just dissing their team. "Rooney sucked." "The goals were Joe Hart's fault." "They should just cancel England now to save us the embarrassment." Wait... WHAT? Your fucking team just qualified for the Euro Cup 2012!!! Yes, the same competition in which, for the moment, only Holland, Italy, Germany, Spain, and England are completely sure to play!!!

How do you, you stupid English people (obviously I'm not dissing all 51 million of you, just specifically picked few), expect your team to have the SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS to perform well? If you're told every day that you suck will YOU be able to play? I don't know, just all these things annoy the shit out of me.

Yeah, it annoyed me, the same way the English fans booed their own team after a draw with Algeria in the World Cup 2012 Group Matches. Rooney said: "Yeah, it's nice to hear your own fans boo you. That's what loyal support is." And he is right. I saw the same support here, in Bulgaria, when they played aganist our National Team. I saw the loyal support. I saw it in all 400 fans that came to watch their team play.

I felt so happy that England was winning that I even started cheering for them. Risking my own life, since I was in the Buglarian Sector. With 30 000 angry Buglarian fans. Yet, I STILL supported my team. Yes, I said it. MY TEAM! I don't care if I'm not English. I know that Joe Hart, John Terry, Ashley Cole, Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard, Theo Walcott, and all the other players are one of the best in their fields. I know that they deserve more.

So, please, if you are a fan of something or someone, love them, support them, and be there to cheer for them. Because I know they need it. Because the fans are what makes them move. Many of you might say: "Yeah, right, but they totally do it only for the money." And it may be so. But let me ask you one thing. Do you think that their salaries are raised when they lose?

So, as a last sentence, I'll simply say CONGRATULATIONS, ENGLAND. I know you can win. You deserve to be here and you deserve to claim the Cup as yours this year. Shout for England.