A Letter To Love...

Dear Love,

Wow... I wrote the first line and completely froze. This is weird. I have so much to ask you, so much to tell you... Yet, I cannot write. I don't know how to start. Let's see... I haven't seen you in a while. You must have some other things to do, other important matters to attend to. But, since it's been so long, I decided to write. Maybe you'll answer me. So... What can I tell you...

I am well, I guess. Nothing really changed for me, but, you know, if you came by, maybe we could go out, or just talk... Or just sit there and stare at the stars, together, like we used to. We could just sit there, look at the full moon, and pretend it could grant us one wish. We would talk to it for hours, because it was the only one who could understand us. And we knew that it would grant us that insane wish, sooner or later.

I remember when we sat there, on my bed, covered in a thick blanket, drinking warm strawberry tea, while the snow was covering everything outside. The entire room smelled like strawberries. And cookies, and chocolate, and apples. Maybe there was some cinnamon, too, I don't remember. We were alone, and you were the only one who saw my true face. My mask was lying on the floor, and you were looking straight into my eyes. My true eyes...

I think we were watching something, but it was a long time ago. It was a movie. A beautiful romance. I was crying, but you were just laughing. Maybe it was a comedy, I don't remember. It was December, when you left. How could I forget? You told me you were coming back soon, but you didn't. I saw you a few times, or at least I thought so, but when I walked up to you, it turned out it was someone else. I miss you. I find you in everything now. I hope you come back soon.

It's not like I have no idea where you are. I see your work all over the world now. You're famous. There are movies about you, songs and books, too. Maybe that's what makes it so hard to forget you. I see at least one of your masterpieces every day. But you never gave me one of them, maybe you're still working on mine, I don't know... Do you even remember me?

I had a dream about you last night. I have had a lot of dreams about you recently. Now, all I want to do is sleep. It seems I can only feel when I am not awake. It is so clear when it's not real. The slight tingling in the stomach. The tight grip of the heart. The unbearable difficulty to breathe. The neverending smile on my face. The need to get over it. The desire to keep it forever. Yet, the moment I open my eyes, the sensation is gone, the magic is gone, you're gone...

I miss you. Shortly after you left, I met your friend, Crush. She is nice, we went out a couple of times, but she is not you. She is just too... Shallow. Always thinks about the next person she has to meet. I can't get her to sit still even for an hour. Every day, she introduced me to different people, I even lost their count. I wish you would come back. You're just so... Permanent. Was permanent. I don't know you anymore.

Huh, that feels weird. Writing these words, I realized... You have changed. You are not what you used to be. I am not what I used to be. I don't see the world as I used to, and you can't give me what I used to want. Do you even know what I want now? You used to know me so well, yet... you left me. Everything is just a "used to be". You come, give, and then take it all away.

You know what... Don't come back. You cannot make me happy. You're like a season. Spring. You come, make people feel satisfied and special, then you leave and everything slowly fades away, dies out and falls to the ground only to be crushed by people's feet. Or isn't that just your point? You give. You take. I don't know. It's been so long... I don't remember... I need to know. I need you to come back. I don't know... I don't remember...

I want to scream, yet I have no voice. You will not hear me. I'm writing, but no one will read. I'm crying, but no one will come. They know, they see, but they stay away. They don't know me. I am alone, and you are everywhere around me. Why don't you come back to me? I don't know what to say. I never knew. I never will. You took it. You took it all away. Or did I give it up... I don't remember...

I miss you...

Yours truly,
Heart.